My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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