what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
