he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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