He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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