Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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