How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
