I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
