she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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