I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
