hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
