I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
