how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
