Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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