I could make wine with my vomit
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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