One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
