Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
