yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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