Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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