Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
