yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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