we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
