You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize