I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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