Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
