Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize