so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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