HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
