Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
