i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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