You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
