worst night to have a conscience
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
