You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
