Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I stole a fireplace last night.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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