I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Panties = found
Randomize
