Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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