She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize