Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
