no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
