I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
