Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
