Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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