well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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