Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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