I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
