Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
