Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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