Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm too high and old for this...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
