I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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