do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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