his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
