i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
