Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
