i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
