I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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