is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
