she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
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She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
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I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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