Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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