They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
