Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
