It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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