my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize