i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
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My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
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Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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