i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
