im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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